I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
