there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
