I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
