i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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