This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
