WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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