let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
