You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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