I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
