i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Still dying that you shit outside
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
