that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I currently don't understand fingers.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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