how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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