You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
