i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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