Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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