My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
