Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
