it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize