Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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