why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
