It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
