I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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