just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Where is the hickey?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
