yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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