Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
