who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
