you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
