He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
