Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
