Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Pants 0. Shit 1.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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