YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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