Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
