your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
