I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I touched a dick in church today
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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