Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want to have your abortion
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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