Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
