The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
dude. I can hear the air.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
