the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
