PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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