I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We need to get me chipped asap
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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