i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
this just has baby written all over it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
