We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
