We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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