So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Operation Purity has been aborted
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
