oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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