I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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