yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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