# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it because I queefed?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
