He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
