My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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